If I Ever Love Again
by Crystal7
Summary: Hermoine's only love has died and now she finds an outlit for her pain, in his killers arms... Please R/R!


If I Ever Love Again  
  
Hermoine dodge a golden spark by rolling backwards in the grass. She heard Remus Lupin swear off to her left but didn't turn to look. She screamed a curse and pointed her wand and the nearest death eater, he went down quickly. She spun around, her hair flying all about and came face to face with Lucius Malfoy.  
  
Lucius Malfoy didn't have a chance. She sent him spiraling into insanity in seconds. "Hermoine! Get out of here!" Harry screamed at her from somewhere nearby.  
  
"NO! Harry! I'm staying!"  
  
Harry rushed over, gripped her arm and shoved her forward, "GO!"  
  
Hermoine looked at him and quickly shoved him down in the grass. He pulled her down with him, "NO! Harry, this is my fight too!"  
  
Lord Voldemort had been dead for months but his death eaters were still going strong and they HAD to be stopped.  
  
Harry shoved Hermoine off of him and threw another deadly curse at a nearby death eater. "GO! PLEASE!"  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU KEEPING FROM ME?" She screamed above the noise as she cursed a death eater over Harry's shoulder.  
  
Harry hung his head in defeat, "Ron. Hermoine, he's gone."  
  
Hermoine let out an anguished cry at the same moment that a blue spark hit her back.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hermoine sat on the Weasley's couch in pain. A death eater had only hit her with an unconscious curse before Lupin killed him. She wiped the tears from her face as she stared at Ron's coffin. Her chest hurt, both from the curse and from Ron's death.  
  
Lupin squeezed Hermoine's hand in his own. The death of Ron weighing heavily on the old professor's mind. "Hermoine," Lupin's voice cracked and it sounder older, "Ron died a hero's death. That is what he would have wanted."  
  
Hermoine nodded. She knew that too, only she couldn't accept it as so. "Whose responsible?" Hermoine asked slowly. She was almost afraid of the answer. She watched as Mrs. Weasley pulled Harry into a tight embrace. Mrs. Weasley thought of Harry as her son and Harry had come to think of Weasley's as his own family.  
  
Lupin tightened his grip on Hermoine's hand, "Malfoy. Draco."  
  
Hermoine pulled her hand free from Lupin's and buried her face in her hand and wept.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Weeks had passed since Ron's death and Hermoine felt sad and unsure of herself. Harry had withdrawn to the old Black House, which Sirius had left to Harry in his will, and hadn't come out since Ron's funeral. Hermoine was almost in the same state.  
  
Day after day after day she lay in bed wondering about life without Ron. She remembered his voice, his laughter, his smile, and his kiss. She simply couldn't get him out of her head.  
  
Hermoine picked up her wand and studied it before shoving it in her robes. She knew what she had to do.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hermoine approached the Malfoy Mansion. She truly did not expect Draco to be here, with all the people out looking for him, but it was worth a shot. She creaked open the door and headed through the house, "DRACO!" She yelled, "GET OUT HERE!"  
  
"Well if it isn't the little Mudblood."  
  
Hermoine spun around to be face to face with her lover's killer. She drew her wand, "Any last words you pathetic excuse for a man?"  
  
Draco laughed, "Granger, put that away, you are not going to kill me." He took a step towards her.  
  
Hermoine flinched back, "Oh yes I will."  
  
In one step Draco crossed over to her and he placed his hand on her hand that was holding her wand and pushed it down. In a husky voice a said in her ear, "No you won't" and brought his mouth crushing down on Hermoine's.  
  
Hermoine blanched back and smacked him square in the jaw but Draco only laughed and kissed her again. Hermoine finally gave up fighting and kissed him back. She dropped her wand and put both her hands to his face, feeling his long blonde hair in her hands.  
  
Draco picked up her up and carried her to a nearby bedroom. Years of unreleased passion awakened in both of them. Draco came down upon her and Hermoine didn't resist.  
  
Draco kissed her mouth, her neck, and then slowly undid the buttons on her robe to reveal her Muggle clothes beneath. Hermoine's chest heaved as he undid the buttons on her shirt revealing her blood-red bra beneath. A cruel smile came to Draco's lips, "Well Granger I never would have guessed."  
  
Hermoine looked up at him, fire and passion in her heart, "Shut up and kiss me." And she brought his head down to hers. Draco's fingers fumbled with the back of the bra and undid it.  
  
They flipped over and Hermoine didn't even bother with the buttons on Draco's robe. She ripped it open and kissed him, all over.  
  
When they were finished with their passion, they in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity. Hermoine's heart pounded and she wonder what had happened. How had she let this happen? She had just made love to her enemy, to the man that killed Ron!  
  
Draco propped himself up on one elbow, "Granger, make love to me again."  
  
Hermoine looked up at him, her heart pounding. How she had done it the first time she would never know. She tried to utter, no, but something inside of her stopped herself and she brought her hands up around Draco's neck and pulled him down on top of her.  
  
When Hermoine left a few hours later, she still didn't understand what had happened. She returned to her small apartment in London feeling unsure of herself and almost totally unaware of her surroundings.  
  
She found an owl, Hedwig, waiting in her apartment when she arrived. It was a letter from Harry!  
  
Dear Hermoine,  
  
They've found him! Draco has been found! He was staying at his family's home. An auror saw his lover leaving early this morning. They are not yet sure who she is but they are willing to bet any money it is one of the few pure breads still left that he is not related to. Anyway, we're waiting on word that Draco has been captured. I'll send notice back as soon as I can.  
  
Love,  
  
Harry  
  
Hermoine's breath caught in her throat, "No Harry," She whispered, "His lover is not a pure bread. She is a Mudblood." Hermoine grabbed a piece of spare parchment and scribbled.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
That is wonderful news! I hope you are doing well and to see you son.  
  
Love,  
  
Hermoine.  
  
Hermoine sent it off with Hedwig and collapsed into one of her chairs. If they caught Draco would he spill the beans that they had made love? Hermoine nearly smacked herself in the head for asking herself such a question. "Of course he would!"  
  
"Hermoine?" An unsure voice asked from behind her.  
  
Hermoine jumped up and spun around, "Draco! Leave!"  
  
"Hermoine, I have no where else to go. They are-"  
  
"I don't care!"  
  
Draco crossed over to him and placed his arms around her waist, "Oh yes you do." And kissed her.  
  
Hermoine tried to resist but again something inside her simply couldn't. Draco trailed kisses down to her neck and ripped open her shirt and kissed her breasts. Hermoine moaned in both pain and pleasure. He was a good lover. She pulled Draco down onto the soft carpet with her.  
  
Passion once again exploded in both of them as Draco made his way down to her naval and back again. His right hand cupped her left breast as he brought his lips back to her's. Hermoine's hands fumbled with the zipper on his pants and pulled them down.  
  
Draco kissed her with such passion that it surprised even him. He trailed kisses down to her neck where trailed his tongue. Hermoine ripped open her own pants and spread her legs, inviting Draco in.  
  
Draco knew the invitation all to well and took it, just as he took her. Hermoine arched her back and gave into all her forbidden desires.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Several hours later Hermoine slipped into a royal blue robe Ron had bought her for her birthday last year and quietly crept to the kitchen. Hedwig swooped in at that very moment dropping another piece of parchment at her feet. She bent down and picked it up. All it said was:  
  
Draco got away.  
  
Harry  
  
Hermoine looked over her shoulder to her bedroom where Draco slept. Making a final decision Hermoine scrolled:  
  
I know  
  
Hermoine  
  
And sent it off with Hedwig.  
  
Draco slithered into the kitchen moments after Hedwig left. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against his bare chest. He kissed her neck with desire. He wanted her more than he could tell. He knew it wasn't love nor was it lust; it was a feeling completely new to him.  
  
Hermoine turned around in Draco's arms and brought his mouth to her's. Despite knowing that was totally wrong Hermoine couldn't help but want more. Draco undid the sash at her waist and let the robe fall to the floor. He gripped her naked bottom and pulled her up to him.  
  
Hermoine tilted her head back and Draco brought his mouth down upon hers again. Being with her was all he could think about. He yanked her completely off the floor and Hermoine wrapped her legs around his bare body as he took her once again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hermoine watched Draco get dressed and leave only moments later. She wasn't sorry to see him go but for some reason something was nagging at her. Draco kissed her forehead, "be back in a couple of hours, okay love?"  
  
Hermoine nodded mutely and watched as he vanished before her eyes. Hedwig flew back through her window with yet another message from Harry. This one came as no surprise to Hermoine:  
  
How did you know Draco got away?  
  
Harry  
  
Hermoine scribbled a note that read:  
  
If I tell you, you must promise to protect me.  
  
Hermoine  
  
She tied it to Hedwig hoping it would buy her the few precious hours she needed. She had a plan.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Draco returned just as he had promised and Hermoine lured him into the bedroom where they made love for countless hours.  
  
As Draco slept Hermoine returned to the kitchen to find Hedwig waiting, patiently, for her. She read Harry's note:  
  
Hermoine,  
  
I will do whatever you ask, just please tell me what you know of Draco.  
  
Harry  
  
Hermoine sat down and wrote one final note to her dearest friend.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
He is here. Come quick as you can.  
  
All my love,  
  
Hermoine  
  
Hermoine attached this to Hedwigs leg and kissed the bird atop the head, "Goodbye, old friend." Hermoine rustled around the kitchen quietly until she took out a long, sleek knife.  
  
She headed back to the bedroom. Draco had rolled over onto his back, his bare chest gleaming in the little light in the bedroom. In one swift motion she stabbed Draco in the gut.  
  
Draco's eyes flew open as Hermoine withdrew the weapon from him. "Hermoine," he crocked before he was gone.  
  
Hermoine scribbled a note and left it on the nightstand before stabbing herself, in the heart.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Harry and Mr. Weasley arrived at Hermoine's home a few moments' later but it was far too late. "Hermoine!" Harry called as he and Mr. Weasley searched the apartment. He gave a strangled cry as he entered Hermoine's bedroom.  
  
There in the bed was a stark naked, and very dead Draco Malfoy and next to him a very limp, half-naked, Hermoine. Harry kissed the dead woman's forehead as Mr. Weasley entered and gave his own cry of pain.  
  
Harry leaned down and saw a piece of parchment. Harry picked it up and quickly read it:  
  
Dearest Harry,  
  
I am truly sorry it had to be this way. After Ron's death I tried to fill the void in my heart by taking Draco as a lover. At first I didn't understand why I had become to use Draco as a physical and emotional crutch over the last few days but now I have come to understand. I have taken my revenge on Draco by making love to him one final time and killing him. I know you must be wondering why I had to take my life as well. The answer is simple: I couldn't live with myself knowing what had happened. I love Ron dearly and yet I had taken his killer as my lover. It was far too evil of an act. I couldn't live with myself. I knew that I could never love again. I am sorry. Tell the Weasleys I am sorry as well.  
  
All my love,  
  
Hermoine  
  
Harry set the note down as two fat tears rolled down his cheeks. She had lost all sense of worth and all sense of control. Harry kissed her forehead again. He had loved her all his life. She had chosen Ron over him, that he had learned to accept, but Draco?  
  
Harry wondered if he would ever be able to love again. And if I he could learn to love again would be worthy of the woman's love? He bent down and picked up a crinkled sheet on the floor and threw it over Draco and Hermoine's lifeless bodies.  
  
THE END 


End file.
